Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
In 1998 I filmed a TV advert for a Siemens C25 mobile phone. They asked various 'creative' types from around Europe to appear. The ad didn't actually feature any of my artwork, but I drew this for a postcard that I think was supposed to be packaged with the phone. I've never seen the ad, but filming it was pretty embarrassing.
Anyway, I found the image sorting through old CDs and liked the characters.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Zeus had been musing on the pant sag issue for some time now. Its pertinence to the whiles of modern living was as vital now as ever it was before. More so since the recent popularisation of larger trousers amongst the general populace. Not that they understood it, thought Zeus bitterly. Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do. The concept of pant sag had first entered his life ten years ago. As a diligent and dutiful skateboarder he had always been keen to keep up with even the most obscure of trends; ‘de-striping’ the decals from his sports shoes; breaking, or ‘focusing’, his skateboard in climactic moments of frustration. But the coming of pant sag had been different; less a trend, more a way of life.
Until that time Zeus had worn trousers that fitted more or less correctly. He began to notice a consensus among skateboarders to wear trousers lower and lower on the waist. Consequently the crotch level of the trousers was descending towards the knees: pant sag. This was an epiphany for him; a different and important aesthetic had been revealed. To facilitate his own sag he realised he would need newer, more copious trousers that did not hug the waist (and thus refuse to sag) like their predecessors. Zeus’ body shape began to change in sympathy with the requirements of his trousers: his legs began to shorten and his stomach ballooned gently over the waistband. He now walked the streets a different breed of being to the rest.
The past years had seen certain n’e’er-do-wells attempting to milk some of the saggers’ esprit de mode, and failing miserably. These johnny-come-latelys reasoned that they could buy their way into the look, but they failed to realise the complex nature of pant sag physics. To compensate for the new, lower crotch level, skateboard trouser manufacturers had shortened the inside leg measurements of their garments. Many aging rock stars walked the streets in big trousers jacked up tightly above the waist, with an obscene and ungainly amount of clearance between trouser-cuff and shoe.
And now, ten years later; a decade of pant sag. New challenges presented themselves. With big trousers now commonplace, though with no corresponding comprehension of their meaning, true saggers were now broaching the subject of tight trousers: could they sag also? Through his research, Zeus had ascertained that this was so.
Apparently pant sag had stemmed from an attempt to mimic the half-mast trousers of jailbirds denied access to belts. Whatever. The provenance of the convention mattered little to him. It was the results that signified. The way the back pockets of his jeans now hung over the backs of his legs: undoubtedly a cool effect. And short legs just looked plain dope.
Originally printed in the Idler, August 1999
Monday, January 04, 2010
After all my problems with injury last year I finally got referred to the Sports Injury Clinic at my local hospital to try and get a definitive prognosis. I had an MRI scan last month, the results of which showed I have almost no cartilage left on the lateral side of my left knee joint. Basically I spent the last year pounding bone against bone, so no wonder I wasn't running smoothly. It's amazing I managed to run as much as I did. This cartilage degradation is a long-term side effect of a depressed tibial plateau fracture I sustained in 1999, and though running didn't cause it, apparently it does cause the cartilage to degrade quicker.
Anyway, I've been told not to run anymore, which is sad news given what a big part of my life it had become. I'm gutted I'm never going to run 2h30 for the marathon, or go under 32 minutes for 10k. Looking on the bright side I'm happy I got so much out of running as long as I could.
PS. The degradation of the cartilage wasn't caused by running, so there's no excuse for anyone else to give up.
PPS. To indulge my obsessive streak I'm now getting seriously back into cycling (with a goal of getting a Third Cat. licence in 2010). I've been turbo-ing like a nutter in the garage over Christmas.